My own personal hell

Sometimes it seems that life is a series of small embarrassments I guess this may serve to keep us humble but who knows maybe some of us just have worse luck or in some cases no shame. Well the last three weeks I have been sick and on all sorts of antibiotics and steroids and being a women I naturally ended up catching the scourge that these antibiotics bring (yes the dreaded yeast infection) Needless to say I was pissed because the antibiotics made me so sick to my stomach and the day I finally finish them I get a yeast infection believe I was a woman on the brink. So to add matters worse by the time I realized I needed to go to the store to get something to fix my problem it was late. Let me clarify this a bit I have a pretty high tolerance for pain and I have a pretty annoying habit of when I am sick or in pain to ignore things and occupy myself doing else. This can come in handy as a mother but it is mostly at my own expense. So it is nearly 11 o'clock and I finally get the baby to sleep and I ask my husband to keep and eye on the sleeping girls as I need to go to the store. "What" he says it is 11 at night what are you going to the store for.  I tell him I need to get a girl product. "Why" he says did you get your period if you give me a little time I will go to the store for you. (lets keep in mind that it is late and I am in pain and I don't know about any other females but  this has only ever happened to me once when I was 16 and so I found my self reverting back to that mentality of embarrassment. Also I am starting to get annoyed with the 20 questions as he is staring at a computer screen with head phones on and not paying full attention and I do appreciate him offering to go to the store but I know he won't once he finds out what it is for. I finally snap and say no for your information I think I have a yeast infection and I need to get something to cure it. As I figured he did mention going to the store again but I got the typical answer of why didn't you get something when you were at the store earlier. Flabbergasted I left. So I hope in the store and head to the nearest CVS and when I get there I notice there are only men working and to make matters worse the young man at the counter bears a strong resemblance to my brother in both looks and personality. I start to break out in the sweats and my "teenage fear" starts to get the better of me. I slink to the feminine care aisle and stare blankly at the shelves acutely aware now that I am wearing no bra and sweat pants that are stained by baby fingers. Then it happens the dreaded can I help you mam I squeak no thank you and finally grab something and desperately search the candy aisle for something else to buy I guess I was thinking that I can hide the box with s candy bar. So I am waiting in line and the cashier is talking to the lady in front of me remarking on her purchase of cold medicine (DREAD). Then he gets to me I am about to pass out because he looks and acts like my brother. (imagine buying this stuff with your brother, (before you judge) who despite being raised with three sisters can not handle girly things such as this without turning beet red and making corny jokes. This young man didn't disappoint he was really sweet but you could tell how uncomfortable he was he had that nervous smile and touched the box of monistat like he was touching a hot coal and I did mention that I looked like hell (like someone afflicted) The transaction was finally over and I was beginning to return to normal temperature when as leaving the boy says hope you feel better. I know this was a sweet sentiment but like I said I was suffering from a teenage mentality and with every step I felt like I was deeper in my own personal hell. All I could muster was a shy have a nice night I got into my car and sped out of that parking lot toward home. What a night.

Untitled Adventure

So me and the girls were looking for something to do yesterday it was turning into one of those days where nothing seemed to be going right and we had to do something to try and salvage it. So we all hopped into the car and decided to go exploring I was looking for a particular nursery where they sell mini pineapple plants and plus you never know what you are going to see or find. So we made a turn down a road that we never venture down and it took us to some creepy neighborhood where there was a church at almost every cornego dr so we were navigating our way back to the main road when we saw a church with a very disturbing sign. It said "Services cancelled because God is insignificant" What the Hell literally. I felt like I was in the twilight zone so needless to say me and the girls hightailed it out of there and went back to familiar the ever popular park. So we get to the park and both girls run in opposite directions when I manage to get them together we begin to climb the equipment to go down the slide. (Now point of interest my oldest has gone down this slide already at least twice) So we get to the top and my oldest squats to slide down and then all the sudden changes her mind and says she wants to get down. Now by this point the Baby has been trying to scamper away the whole time so I have to convince her to turn around and go back down the way we came. So we finally get to the bottom and the baby back on solid ground starts to escape I notice that Madison isn't following so I turn to see what is going on. When I catch her eye she says the dreaded words "Mommy got to go Pee pee" So I say to her hurry and quick dash to get the baby. I finally wrangle the baby and I turn back to my oldest and notice she still hasn't moved. Then I notice she has that stock still deer in the head lights stance it almost looks like she is concentrating on something. Suddenly I realize what kind of emergency we are dealing with, It's a Code Brown. So I pick her up in my other on put her on the ground and rush her to the Bathroom. We get there too late to stay at the park as she messed her outfit but we made it in enough time for her to finish. So I guess all well that ends well.

Lowered Expectations

Good Morning fellow lunatics.
 It feels like the day has just begun and already I am disappointed. Today was supposed to be a well well earned relax day for me because we have all gotten over such horrible colds and I have had to play Clara Barton, Maid and Mom on top of being sick. So this day was proposed by my husband on Wednesday. Friday was his day. Well anyways I have been doing the best that I can to keep my temper and make things run as smooth as possible knowing that on Saturday that I would have that precious relax day. I was going to get to sleep in and then nap or relax if I so chose to also they said they would go to the farmer's market with me and it would be a fun family day. Look I like to busy I don't mind my children's silly shenanigans all the time but it is nice when my husband participates. I was woken up at 6:30 by the baby I asked my husband to get up he wouldn't respond. He claims he was up till 4 and only had a couple hours of sleep (he slept all day Friday) so not a big surprise. Well got of with the baby till a quarter to eight then I woke him up. This time he got up. So I got to go back to sleep but got woken up at nine thirty. WTF. Because he only had three hours of sleep last night. (Don't the 12 hours in bed during the afternoon count). Well I got out of bed and he got back in it. So much for the farmer's market. Now I know that I can go by myself that is not the issue but my children are misbehaving and don't want to go and my husband already said he is not so what is the point lugging unruly kids around and trying to relax. Not Gonna Happen so I am not going out of my way.  Some one told me once that my expectations of others are too high that I make it impossible for people to measure up. After a lot of thought I know this is not the case because of that statement I have always questioned if I am expecting too much so I let a lot slide and so people think they don't have to try as hard. The result is me being disappointed.

Is that cat puke?

Greetings friends,
Welcome to another edition of diapers and lunacy. This week we were all infected with the strep virus so on top of my normal running around chasing two toddlers I woke up on Wednesday morning to find I had three. (My husband). Well there is no predicting sick children (husband excluded here) my oldest was a dream. She was sweet and caring and just wanted to sit around and watch movies. My baby however was like Dr. Jeykell and Mr. Hyde. One minute she was running around babbling a mile a minute and the next she wanted to be coddled away from anyone who wasn't Mommy.  It was a trying couple of days when you add that I was sick too.

Well, how does this all relate to cat puke?  Let me tell you.

After one very long day full of cranky and wild children I got a phone call. Before this phone call both my girls were lounging getting ready for bed acting like sweet sleepy angels. The minute I picked up the phone it was like a switch went off in the baby's brain that said now that Mommy is distracted I am going to go wild. So she starts running around the dining room table like it is a race track shrieking wildly. The she tries to take off her diaper which at the moment was dry so I stopped her and told her to relax. (Can you imagine I am telling this to a 19 month old that is one and 1/2 for those who aren't used to babies. Where was my brain?) I am still talking on the phone at this point enjoying talking to an adult for a change and then I spot it.  Out of the corner of my eye I see two small piles of orange-ish red on the floor and I think "Oh Man is that cat puke and as if to add insult to injury I see the baby who was still running her laps had gotten it all over her feet. At this point I just want to cry because all I wanted to do was to relax and now I have to clean up "cat puke" and a filthy baby foot.  So I scoop up the baby and then it hits me. This isn't cat puke I know that smell and then I look down at my shirt and scream for my husband to start the bath. When I finally clean up the baby (I had to pre-clean her before I stuck her in the tub) I tend to the floor which was a pain and all the while the innocent cat sat there watching me ( I can only imagine what he was thinking something along the lines of you know what they say about assumptions). Then I put the the little stink bug in the bath and washed her till she was my clean snugly baby. I take the little string bean out of the tub and what does she do pee all over my floor. What the heck!!!!!

It always comes back to poop

If you were to ask me five years ago anything about a baby's bodily function I would've smiled politely and excused myself from the conversation. In reality my polite smile would be hiding the true inner workings of my mind ( I would be thinking are you crazy, do I look like I have kids. "really look at my figure do you think it has been ravaged by the horrors of childbirth") Look, I am not saying I am proud of what I thought back then or even that it was right but, that was MY reality and any one who knows me now knows that is no longer so. Because let me tell you friends in my new world it ALWAYS SEEMS TO COME BACK TO POOP.

I am not kidding either my life seems lately to revolve around my children's bowel movements. Think I am being over dramatic I wish that was the case but it is not. I am a stay at home mother of two very different children. My eldest daughter has always had problems with pooping poor thing and my youngest will poop at the drop of a hat. Not just poop she will explode. GROSS. So when I say I plan my day to day activities around poop I am not kidding. For example if my oldest has not gone she is crabby and lethargic and you are just asking for tantrums and crying at every corner. As for the baby my sweet little stink bomb you try to plan around her but sometimes you cannot. She always gets me one way or another and now the little scamp can remove her own diaper. Cute you think well let me tell you a little story about cute. I was beginning to run a bath for my little ones and I thought I would have a couple of minutes to get it all ready as my mother in law was at the house. As soon as I turned on the tap the baby comes running up behind me yelling wait for me. I tell her I am not ready to put her in yet she still has her diaper and tee shirt on. Wait a minute and mommy will help you. So I turn my back (big mistake) and the scamp runs away. I thought oh she is going back to Grandma no worries I was so wrong. Two seconds later the little scamp comes running back it this times sans diaper and along with her she bring that familiar scent. I stare in dread as I notice she is covered it poop and I see the diaper in the hall. I call for back up as I try to wipe her the little string bean is laughing sitting all over everything literally shitting it up and as if it could not get any worse my toddler walks in and says mom eweeh!!!! look was the baby is doing you need to clean it up hurry. Needless to say it was hysterical and one of those strange moments as a mom I will not forget.