Is that cat puke?

Greetings friends,
Welcome to another edition of diapers and lunacy. This week we were all infected with the strep virus so on top of my normal running around chasing two toddlers I woke up on Wednesday morning to find I had three. (My husband). Well there is no predicting sick children (husband excluded here) my oldest was a dream. She was sweet and caring and just wanted to sit around and watch movies. My baby however was like Dr. Jeykell and Mr. Hyde. One minute she was running around babbling a mile a minute and the next she wanted to be coddled away from anyone who wasn't Mommy.  It was a trying couple of days when you add that I was sick too.

Well, how does this all relate to cat puke?  Let me tell you.

After one very long day full of cranky and wild children I got a phone call. Before this phone call both my girls were lounging getting ready for bed acting like sweet sleepy angels. The minute I picked up the phone it was like a switch went off in the baby's brain that said now that Mommy is distracted I am going to go wild. So she starts running around the dining room table like it is a race track shrieking wildly. The she tries to take off her diaper which at the moment was dry so I stopped her and told her to relax. (Can you imagine I am telling this to a 19 month old that is one and 1/2 for those who aren't used to babies. Where was my brain?) I am still talking on the phone at this point enjoying talking to an adult for a change and then I spot it.  Out of the corner of my eye I see two small piles of orange-ish red on the floor and I think "Oh Man is that cat puke and as if to add insult to injury I see the baby who was still running her laps had gotten it all over her feet. At this point I just want to cry because all I wanted to do was to relax and now I have to clean up "cat puke" and a filthy baby foot.  So I scoop up the baby and then it hits me. This isn't cat puke I know that smell and then I look down at my shirt and scream for my husband to start the bath. When I finally clean up the baby (I had to pre-clean her before I stuck her in the tub) I tend to the floor which was a pain and all the while the innocent cat sat there watching me ( I can only imagine what he was thinking something along the lines of you know what they say about assumptions). Then I put the the little stink bug in the bath and washed her till she was my clean snugly baby. I take the little string bean out of the tub and what does she do pee all over my floor. What the heck!!!!!

It always comes back to poop

If you were to ask me five years ago anything about a baby's bodily function I would've smiled politely and excused myself from the conversation. In reality my polite smile would be hiding the true inner workings of my mind ( I would be thinking are you crazy, do I look like I have kids. "really look at my figure do you think it has been ravaged by the horrors of childbirth") Look, I am not saying I am proud of what I thought back then or even that it was right but, that was MY reality and any one who knows me now knows that is no longer so. Because let me tell you friends in my new world it ALWAYS SEEMS TO COME BACK TO POOP.

I am not kidding either my life seems lately to revolve around my children's bowel movements. Think I am being over dramatic I wish that was the case but it is not. I am a stay at home mother of two very different children. My eldest daughter has always had problems with pooping poor thing and my youngest will poop at the drop of a hat. Not just poop she will explode. GROSS. So when I say I plan my day to day activities around poop I am not kidding. For example if my oldest has not gone she is crabby and lethargic and you are just asking for tantrums and crying at every corner. As for the baby my sweet little stink bomb you try to plan around her but sometimes you cannot. She always gets me one way or another and now the little scamp can remove her own diaper. Cute you think well let me tell you a little story about cute. I was beginning to run a bath for my little ones and I thought I would have a couple of minutes to get it all ready as my mother in law was at the house. As soon as I turned on the tap the baby comes running up behind me yelling wait for me. I tell her I am not ready to put her in yet she still has her diaper and tee shirt on. Wait a minute and mommy will help you. So I turn my back (big mistake) and the scamp runs away. I thought oh she is going back to Grandma no worries I was so wrong. Two seconds later the little scamp comes running back it this times sans diaper and along with her she bring that familiar scent. I stare in dread as I notice she is covered it poop and I see the diaper in the hall. I call for back up as I try to wipe her the little string bean is laughing sitting all over everything literally shitting it up and as if it could not get any worse my toddler walks in and says mom eweeh!!!! look was the baby is doing you need to clean it up hurry. Needless to say it was hysterical and one of those strange moments as a mom I will not forget.